Never Gone

I really miss you, there's something I gotta say,

The things we did, the things we said
Keep comin' back in me and make me smile again
You showed me how to face the truth
Everything that's good in me I owe to you

Though the distance that's between us
Now may seem to be too far
It will never separate us
Deep inside, I know you are

Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are
Always close, everyday
Every step along the way
Even though for now we've got to say goodbye
I know you would be forever in my life

I walk along these empty streets
There is not a second you're not here with me
The love you gave, the grace you've shown
Will always give me strength and be my cornerstone

(Somehow) somehow you found a way
To see the best I have in me
As long as time goes on
I swear to you that you will be

Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are
Always close, everyday
Every step along the way
Even though for now we've got to say goodbye
I know you would be forever in my life

Never gone (gone from me)
If there's one thing I believe (I believe)
I will see you somewhere down the road again
(I will see you somewhere, somewhere, somewhere, somewhere)

Never gone, Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are
Always close (always close, always close), everyday (everyday, everyday)
Every step along the way
Even though for now we've got to say goodbye
I know you would be forever in my life

Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are (in my heart is where you are)
Always close (always close), everyday (everyday)
Every step along the way

Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are :) :) :) :)

Incomplete (Without you)

a song Dedicated for the Dearest:

Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you, within me I can find no rest
Where I'm going is anybody's guess

I try to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is, incomplete

Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby
It's written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake

I try to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is, incomplete

I don't mean to drag it on
But I can't seem to let you go
I don't wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go..........

I try to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you what I'm going to be is,incomplete...

Male Pregnancy..!!!!!

"As part of a fertility research project, a male scientist agrees to carry a pregnancy in his own body." - This is the plot outline for the movie "JUNIOR", where Arnold Schwarzenegger is in leading role and gets pregnant..

Imagine the world with all the men getting pregnant..!!

I would never have come across to this topic of Male Pregnancy, not but for Anatomy department asking a 3 marker on it..

I was dismantled when I saw this question on paper, which was so standard but for this..!!!

I tried to think for the ways this is possible -
- Implantation on some viscera in peritoneal cavity..
- If Ectopic Abdominal Pregnancy is possible then even Male Pregnancy is..
- What about the hormonal environment..!!? Give supplements may be..!!
- What if there is a rupture..!!? After all ruptured abdominal ectopic is the most common cause of death in women, so why not in men too..!!
- How to deliver? CS, ofcourse..!!

I never got so many of my thoughts right.. When I searched for Male Pregnancy, these were the exact things discussed.. Logically thinking there is no other way too..!!

This is what I was able to find out:

Mr Lee Mingwei
Yes, this is our first pregnant male ever..

In vitro fertilization (IVF) techniques were used to induce an ectopic pregnancy by implanting an embryo and placenta into the abdominal cavity, just under the peritoneum.

1. HORMONES
Oral doses of female hormones were administered to Mr. Lee to make him receptive to the pregnancy.

2. IMPLANTATION
IVF techniques were used to induce an ectopic pregnancy by implanting an embryo and placenta into the abdominal cavity, just under or into the peritoneum. There is a severe risk of massive hemorrhage when the ectopic ruptures; which as I said is the most common cause of women dying in pregnancy.

3. EMBRYO GROWTH
Once implantation was complete, Mr. Lee stopped taking hormones, because the pregnancy itself, as expected, took over. The embryo secretes sufficient hormones to maintain its own growth and development.

4. GROWTH OF THE FETUS
The duration of the pregnancy has been surprisingly normal, i.e. fetal heart monitoring, chorionic villus sampling, ultrasound scanning, and a constant watch over Mr. Lee's health and his enlarging stomach. Men, as they grow older, have already learned to cope with a steadily expanding waistline. Well, Granted, but come onnnnnnnnnnn, this is a bit different.

5. DELIVERY
The delivery will requires Cesarean section to remove the baby and the placenta. Removal of the placenta is the real danger because it forms such intimate connections with surrounding vessels that massive hemorrhage is likely. Implantation may have also involved other structures in the abdomen, including the bowel and it is possible that parts of other organs may need to be removed. Several physicians who are well-accustomed to advanced and dangerous forms of ectopic pregnancies will be on-hand to handle any complications.


Some say its about flirting with God & to do this is so unlike humane..!!
I am against those who think like that atleast..!!
If science tried develop something new, it should be encouraged, after all it was the choice of Mr. Lee himself to be pregnant..

All we can do is to wish luck for his and his baby's good health..!!

Here is an interesting conversation between Mr. Lee and Janice, who took his interview.. Its really interesting what Mr. Lee thinks about being pregnant, he comes up with some real good answers.. Check THIS out..




Well there has also been cases of Male pregnancy in cases of Intersex, but that is highly unusual..!!

All considered, Still Male pregnancy is in experimental phase..!!
Though asking it in exams is as cynical as one can get..!!
Oh someone, let them know that even 1st child by a male is not born yet..!!

Fool se Fun ka Funda...!!!!

..............................1st April.......................................

Only one thing comes in mind.. How to make a fool of FOOLS.... lolzzzzzzz...

I tried searching where was the origin of this day.. Got even more perplexed.. Wikipedia has as worst of literature written over this topic as it can get.. If you are patient enuf to go through it, do make me understand the exact origin..!!!


Nyways, So I was talking bout 1st of April.. The one that values the most its 1st April, 2008..

And there was carved the deadliest of Idea in my mind, which I managed to describe it as a CRUEL IDEA when I told Nids, another companion, who ll make this seemingly Cruel Idea a reality..

It all started in my devilish mind, thinking to screw up three fools in the most mind-breaking way (Now that they are certified, Aki, Don and Namu, I wish there was a prefix for Fools as there is for a doc)

Oh, I had a GF, Dint I?
How can she ever think of Dumping me..!!!!
Well she did...!!!
Not a good idea..!!!
See how I was broken up..
My poor heart pounding thousand times a sec..!!

They felt my pain..
They felt my sorrow..
They saw my smile getting lost in an abyss..
They tried vanishing the term abyss..
They failed..
They found my helplessness..
They found my GF's mistakes..
Only conclusion - Why not go JAB WE MET way..!!?
They asked for a photograph (I smirked in my mind as from where to produce one)
They asked for her number (I was afraid it would ring Nids mobile...!!!)
They threatened to go on fast (They wouldn't have, if they knew the chocs I had in my bag)

Andddddddd came the moment of declaration..
The Oscar(I wish there was a bigger award than this) was awarded to the one and only...



The expressions they had, surprise filled with anger(though they dint show it up to my expectations, Thank God)
I wish I had cameras everywhere..
Cause those were the best cuts for the best videos ever captured..!!!


My intention was never to play with their emotions though I did..
Probably the best way to justify is I got what I wanted..

The way they cared for me
The way they supported me
The way they defended me
Those were the moments that will be carved for ever..

I remember Nids telling them, "Tame loko e je reply kaira che last night (to support me), I am proud of u"


Even more than being proud, I am obliged..
I felt like one thing I can hold on to for this jerkish April fool is the intent of the care for me..

Couldn't have got better response from u D4..!!
Luv u all..!!

Finesse of Fortune

... Referring to my previous post, I may seem more confused than ever...
... Something is just being added to that again, to increase it even more...

... Confused in selection of my universities, their acceptances adds more to the same...

... Got my acceptances from all 6 universities I applied to (I am not counting UMDNJ, cause they are jerks not to understand that our degree certificate comes after June, only after which i can submit it, they just stick to their May deadline) ...

... What to do? What not to? Where to go? Where not to?...

... To start with I dint expect acceptances from all the unis and now that I have it, it screws me up real big as to which uni I must go to..

... I think the toss up may be between Houston and SLU (Drexel could have been there but they dint offer me scholarship, so I ll need to kick them with the fees they have)

... Houston becomes clear favourite being ranked in top 10.. SLU gives competition cause they offer scholarship + They are ranked 4th in research which may help in residency who knows...

... The best thing to do for me is not to think and do what I feel like the very last moment..
... Oh I have my USMLE Step 1, I just forgot...!!!

... M I online now? I think you are wrong..!!!!!

All set or sucked..!!!??

Here I am
This is me
There's no where else on earth I'd rather be

I think Bryan is wrong if those lines were for me right here right now..

There's everywhere on earth I'd rather be..

Baffled as I am, I see no hopes on getting better..

Take one side and I prepare for my USMLE Step 1..
Take other and I need to decide which university I would be going to for MPH..
Take yet another and I get more perplexed than ever, I need to time my Visa Interview amidst all this..

Preparations and Paperwork sucks more out of me than trying to understand Bunty's English.. Atleast those Anatomy lectures were more fun..
Adds to that is our clerk's lack of time..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now I need to peak my study flow and result too at just about the right time..

And I am all set to go this Fall.. Well who knows I am all set or sucked up..!!
Time will shout..!!!

Infact, it is, Right now.. I should be studying I guess rather than writing a post here huhhhh..!!

Well then what am I doing here..!!
I am off...!!! Way before u finish reading this..!!

Chuckle with Delight

What to Do in an exam?


Promoted first time from using a typewriter to computer


All in one


Crazy Monkey

World's youngest mother - Age 5

... Into the hospital at Peru came a tired, ragged Indian woman from the foothills of the Andes...
... She led by the hand a shy little girl, named Lina, scarcely three feet tall, with chestnut braids and an enormously bulging abdomen...
... Pointing to the frightened child, the Indian woman begged Surgeon Gerardo Lozada to exorcise the evil spirits which had taken possession of her. Certain that little girl had an abdominal tumor, Doc examined her.... Bangggggggggg...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
... Doc received the surprise of his life when he discovered she was eight months pregnant...


... Doc took her to Lima, the capital of Peru, prior to the surgery to have other specialists confirm that Lina was in fact pregnant..!!!
... A month and a half later, on May 14, 1939, she gave birth to a boy by a caesarean section necessitated by her small pelvis...
... The surgery was performed by Dr. Lozada and Dr. Busalleu, with Dr. Colretta providing anaesthesia. Her case was reported in detail by Dr. Edmundo Escomel to La Presse Medicale...
... Her menarche had occurred at 8 months of age, and that she had had prominent breast development by the age of 4. By age 5 her figure displayed pelvic widening and advanced bone maturation...



... Her son weighed 2.7 kg at birth and was named Gerardo after her doctor...

... Gerardo (named for the attending doctor) lived to think that his mother was his sister until he was 10 when he raised the question after being teased by other children at school. He lived to the age of 40, when he died of a bone marrow disease that was completely unrelated to the early pregnancy...

... When asked who the father was, Lina didn't give an answer...
... Many believed her father had molested her and got her pregnant...!!!! Would be a barbaric act if so...!!!! He was arrested but released later because of lack of evidence...
... Lina herself went on to marry and had a second child a full 33 years later, producing another healthy baby boy...


... Extreme degrees of precocious puberty in children under 5 are highly uncommon but not unheard of...

Still................ This one remains one of its own kind......!!!!!!

Unbreakable

Two of my favourite songs of Backstreet boys new album - Unbreakable..!!!

Inconsolable

Everything but mine

Sorry there was no Video available for this one...!!! Only Snapshots...!!!

Memoirs of Medicine

... End of medicine term...
... Feels like heaven in a sense that i ll be freed a little from the hectic work there, or should i say hectic when compared to my first six months of internship isn't it? Ahhh, come on, my first six months included Minor terms and Psm...

... Still, remains this memoir embedded with memories never to be forgotton... Have to admit, I did enjoy this term better than any others, i mean forget small small quibbles, forget the work my R1's imposed rather commandingly(the way they ordered somethimes, i hated that)...

... I need to say especially that i really look up to one person in here, My R3 - Mehul Gajjar who most of the times supported better than defending us... Its not always about work (as such as an intern we need to do that too), but it is also about how u develop a nice little intimacy with whom u work...

... And it was today, final day of medicine term... Me and Valay went on to Veg Malhar Restaurant along with all Residents... V had an intention of giving party to our residents, though finally ended up taking party from them hehehe...

... That ends our Medicine term at Shardaben, though this memoir of memories remains forever, memories of unforgettable days v spent in Medicine... I dare regard this term as the best medicine term of my medical career...

Straight from the heart

... I have been wanting to write this one for long now. Unfortunately, I get busy every now and then and start blogging so much so infrequently...

... Medicine term, huh.. It aint that easy to find time afterall, especially after i get this term after an alleasy minors and Psm...

... But certainly, this term has exposed many shortcomings in our daily set up to me than did Psm and minors...

... Here are few real incidences which i have been across in this short burst at medicine term...

..... Once there was a patient which came in casualty. That patient was admitted to medicine unit 3. Patient had Rt. Hypochondriac pain. The C.M.O. admitted it to medicine saying its a generalised abdominal pain. Patient was alcoholic for dont know how many uncountable years. Labs done, Patient diagnosed.. Liver abscess.. All right, C.M.O. did the mistake of not taking H/o properly...
... Now what this medicine unit 3 must do? Transfer to Surgical unit? Well Naahhhh, they dont think it that way.. What they did instead was they discharged the patient - Hmmm Good idea to get rid of patients from never seeing again, huh.. And even worse, they advised follow up in Surgical OPD, wooh thats all right u think, Aint it? Well but they advised them to a different surgical unit, Surgical unit 2 to be precise.. Advantage - they wont be seeing that patient ever again, Medicine unit 2 will have to do all the honors.. Clever people, aren't they?

..... A patient gets admitted in our unit, Medical unit 3..
... Don't worry this story wont end up with fault of this unit, haha..
... Patient had his PS for MP done the very morning of discharge, Result - Negative, I was the one who filled up the discharge of the patient that day.. Patient discharged at around 12 noon..
... Patient comes back at around 4 pm, again fever with chills and rigors, Blood taken, CBC done, Wellllllllllllll, Patient dint have time to wait for any damn reports done.. Dead pale.. Thats how patient was soon after.. Results of that report came after patient was no more, PS for MP - P. Falci detected.. I wonder if 3 hours are good enuf for P. falci to get into blood and show their thumping presence..

..... Thats not the end of an amazing lab work thats goin on at shardaben.. Two Residents on the same day give blood for Hb of the same patient, unknowing that other one just gave it few minutes ago.. Reports come by, and one report says Hb is 9.2 and Other says its 11.9 something.. Are 5 minutes enuf to change the Hb of the person by this much? I mean Come onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn....

..... This is not the end of it all though, A patient of diabetic foot is admitted to medicine ward and referred to surgery, when it should have been other way round.. This may just be the tip of iceberg, which lays exposed only to those who want to see it.. There may be many burried inside the water, even invisible to me.. Forget bout patients, i mean seriously, they dont even know whats goin on with them..

..... A question arises, who should change? Professors, Residents or Interns like me, who lie helpless at these naked shamelessness..!!!!!!!

My Priceless Valuables

..28th July and it was the time to party..

..My bday..

..Here are my priceless Valuables gifted to me by my priceless fnds on this bday..
















..I will start up with the work of art..

..Woooohhhhh

..Someone really worked for this

..Ofcourse this is the work of
ANUJAAAAAAAA

..It just thrills me to say the least how she comes up with such amazing things..

..As it reads "Happy Bday wishes to you on your very special day" - Well Anuja u made it even more special.. Thanx a lot..

















..That was the painting made by Anuja herself..

..I ll just say this for u Anuja, "Ye hath humko dede thakur".. Ane eno 2nd faaydo, i ll be saved by your punching.. Hehe..

..As amazing the painting was, equally amusing was the comment inside..


..This comment, must say, brought a broad smile on the faces of all those who read it..





















..This one was a surprise wish..

..A card, cake and nice bday song, to wish me - And that was from the hotel manager of Basil, where i gave party to my fnds..


















..This one here is one of the gifts given by my gang to me..

..Me being such a coffee freak, Well, they know me better, this gift proves it..

..M jus in love with this coffee maker now..


















.. Yet another gift for a garba lover like me..

.. Something which can be put on even on the time other than Navratri..

.. A short Kurta..

.. List grows on, ummm, M lovin' it..




















.. As i said i m a coffee freak, Well coffee maker to aai gayu, pan coffee ni kami bi puri kari devaai..

.. This Dark Forest Coffee and a set is gifted by no other than my sweet diii..

.. Pooja

.. Thanx diii for this.. Muaaah..






.. So you see, i got enriched this bday not only with so many gifts but actually got showered with so much love..

.. Even more valuable and priceless for me are the members of my gang.. All those who were there that night at Basil (Missed you Shachee), Friends forever..

..Love u all..

Who is culpable..!! ??

........ Hi everyone
As all of us know, this is a gr8 country to live in....
Kinda relations that develop here...
Kinda love that is shared,
Not only between families but also between friends...

I certainly have no distractions to be said for staying here...

.... Yet, When many of my friends ask me out --- Hey Nikunj, if u love this place so much, then does ur goin to US justifies ur statement?

________________________________

This is exactly how i become, to their question..
Blank on my face, befuddled in my expression...


Who is to Blame?
Who is at fault?
Is it me?
Or is it this Government?

............. There is so much competition here to get admission in PG.. Not that i dont like being in competition.. But to compete for 6O seats between 400 students [and may be 1000 including the backlog], i wonder..

Plus when it comes to the seats of ones own choices ---- the seats are limited to half or may be even less......

And to this pool are added - those who have their hands quite long enuf, as has been the case all this 4 years of MBBS.. U know what i mean....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They just make life more difficult, if not impossible, for those more apt....



----- Once one of my friend told me what his sir thinks about the seats alloted for PG.. According to that sir -- Our government intentionally gives less seats for good courses....
Reason?
According to that sir,
the reason he gave to this was - An intentionally induced policy, this is, to create a backlog, and those who dont get admission ultimately give up and they see their opportunity in UHCs and PHCs and thereby they become MOs... Certainly, in this set up, there is an ever increasing need of MOs, considering the fact that most wont have a wanting for that designation attatched to them at first place..

............ I really dont know to what extent this reasoning is plausible.. But certainly it fits into this whole scenario..



.............Plus adds to this all the malpractices and negligence, that goes on at many, if not all places.. Forget getting gud knowledge, R1's are treated as slaves.. I wonder from where comes the rule that a junior has to be a drudge of seniors decree.. Okey, he needs to do what he is supposed to - but not what a servant is supposed to do... I better pity on these residents.. Especially the ortho R1's, as i have seen them personally in a hell of a situation.......


Who is Culpable???


......... Coming back to me ---- Few friends tell me, i am just goin US, because of the pecuniary thoughts i possess in my mind.. Well they are not wrong for an instance - As i have said many times before - In this world money is something very important, if not everything....

Is this the only reason i am going there...
My answer gets to just and only NOOOOOOOOOOO

Certainly that is one of the reasons to be there, but Apart from that draw ur attention to few other things...

Spare a thought --

Consider the level of studies...
Consider the importance of ur work...
Consider the knowledge u get...
Consider the campus situation...
Consider the difference in politics here and there...

I think this may be it.. I hope few may get some really appropriate answers...

This is the way of my thinking atleast...

I certainly am NOT at difference with any point about the underlyin' potential here.. The point is, there are too many factors that prevent these potentials to become a reality...

No other explainations do i have to justify my decision to those who question it
Nothing more to say than this i guess

Life is small, live it the best possible way i guess(atleast the best possible way u like)
Isn't it?

Finally its time to go blogging again

Hey then, finally i am back again... Hmmm Blogging after a long time and posting seems like as if it were ages before, hehe :)) I guess its time to keep posting regularly.. And i guess i will get ur comments regularly enuf too (Arre maara posts kharab hoy to pan, atleast effort karjo kadach kai mali jaay comment lakhva maate ;-p)

One of my upcoming posts will include an album of my college life along with my college friends (Aa vakhate to saache j mukish ho k, anuja.. Bau raah jovdavi ne, hehe, not anymore.. Now i m here not to jus keep an eye..)

And one more thing - all you USMLE fellas, check out the links at the consultancy section on the right of my blog, I think these will help collecting information from various universities, as the professors there are very much cooperative to reply us, as i ve experienced till now...

Chalo then, will be up soon with the next one..

C ya soon

As small as it can get

Statue of liberty in needle's eye














Snow white and seven dwarfs in an eye of a needle.. (Wicked witch is on the top)











Elvis on a pin head














Boxing ring next to match stick head











Gal with a baloon, on an eyelash glued to needle eye..











A royal court in an eye of a needle..









Now then, creating all these is difficult in itself, but u may say there are many in these world who are capable of such microscopic art.. Well, the reason i ve put this one here is because this is different.. The man who did this is here below..



Yes he is the one

Willard Wigan




He has a learning disability(dyslexia), But has talented hands..

Willard Wigan was born in Birmingham, England in 1957 and is the creator of the smallest works of art on earth. From being a traumatised and unrecognised dyslexic child, he is now emerging as the most globally celebrated micro-miniaturist of all time and is literally capable of turning a spec of dust into a vision of true beauty.

He is the creator of the world's smallest sculptures, often taking months to complete one, working between heart beats to avoid hand tremors.

Wigan uses a tiny surgical blade to carve his microscopic figures out of rice, grains of sand and sugar, which are then mounted on pinheads.

Science has for along time shown us worlds we cannot see with our eyes. Willard's impossibly small art is beginning to explore this territory and, in a world of increasing miniaturisation, is taking art into the new millennium..

Willard experienced many problems at school as a dyslexic child and he is completely self taught..

"I guess it can only be described as a gift, or maybe my brain has somehow compensated for my lack of ability in academic areas" - Said Wigan while on an interview, when asked bout his qualities and how he acquired these..

He discovered his ability to make things on a micro-scale at the age of five or six. He had a very difficult time at school due to unrecognised dyslexia and He used to spend hours in his own little micro-world studying insects, ants in particular, which he regarded as his little friends. From there he started making microscopic houses and playgrounds for them(insects) using matchsticks and splinters of wood. To encourage the ants to use them, he coated them with sugar or honey. As he grew up, he progressed from carving matchsticks to twigs, to branches and eventually to tree trunks.

Micro-sculpture remains his great passion, little things really can mean a lot! As a by-product of this work he also taught himself to produce the delicate aircraft which can fly for up to an hour powered by elastic.

Now that there are news that he is retiring from creation of this microsculptures, But one thing is for sure, only he ll retire, his works will be an inspiration to all those in these world who suffer from one or the other disability, an inspiration that if they are willing to rule the minds of all in these world, the goal is not far from them..

They can achieve anything and everything, and as Wigan showed to them a crystal clear mind mixed with Patience, dedication, concentration and persistence can lead to a path of brightness..

Realization means time to Reimplement

Well this first post of mine is a bit philosophical but couldnt hold on from writing it..
Being in medical does mean study a lot(For urself and for others) and get time to everything else if and only if u can..

Being the kinda funloving guy i m, its very different for me here..
Pple study all day long(Welcome to the world of medicine)..
Certainly not the case with me till now..

Bout me, i think i ve wasted a lot of time playin and playin carrom all day long..
Carrom shared a majority of my period in medical life..
Not so any more (I really wish i ll hold on to wat i said).

Play alongside work is not bad though, But surely "All play and no work made Nicks a dull boy"..

Pple say "Jaagya tyar thi savaar"..!!!!
Pan khaali jaagva thi kai na thay..

Realization is jus the first step..
Reimplementation is equally important..
Infact Reimplementation to me is not only the way to Re-establish ones self but probably to Re-discover the original self..

Here i go, in search of my original self and hey ya all pple, i ll soon emerge..
Cause i m Aplombed..

When i was thinkin of a title for this blog, first thing that got to me is this word..
"Aplomb means dignity and confidence"..
Its all bout these two things to get success where ever and in watever u want..
And So the title of my blog..

Now on my way to the uni exams, the real fight will begin after this exams though..
So only thing that goes along now is to be with books..
Cheers..
Tatu..